Friday, March 20, 2009

Dang it!


I am stunned sometimes by how much I can be like the Israelites!

I read about their wanderings in the desert and get frustrated by them, wondering HOW IN THE WORLD THEY COULD DOUBT GOD!! They first were let free from Pharaoh after so many years of slavery. They saw the amazing plagues and were kept safe from them. Then they got food dropped on them from the sky - all that they needed, they had God directing them with fire and smoke, they walked across dry land while the Red Sea was pulled back on either side of them...and yet they still doubted that God was with them. How could they possibly????

I look and them and think, "there's NO way I would ever do that!"

But I do....almost everyday.

WHY???

I have seen God provide for us and guide our path. But I still have such moments of doubt and fear. Feelings of inadequacy. Feelings of o-my-goodness-what-in-the-world-am-i-doing???

I am in the latter right now. Wondering what in the world am I doing???

I want to be more like Jesus, not the Israelites. I want to follow Jesus' example of submitting ALL to His Father and being willing to do whatever was needed without question. Jesus gave His life, suffered terribly, and did it because He knew that His Father's plan was best and was willing to do it without complaining! I want to be like that.

I don't want to doubt. And complain. And fear.

Until then, I will try to work through the feelings, pray through the doubt, and do my best to find His path and walk it with His help.

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