Thursday, June 4, 2009


I have SO much swirling around in my head today and want to write several blogs, but wasn't sure where to start. So, I decided to stop working and do some reading.

I used today while reading the Bible.

In my LTG we are reading Romans. I'm only up to chapter 4 at the moment. It is talking a lot about the law versus faith. This is such a stumbling point for many people in Christianity. How much of our lives should be doing? How much should be faith? What is blind faith? And is it valid? Do we trust in faith and sit back and do nothing until we "feel led"? Or do we keep doing and doing and try to trust along the way? What is a good balance?

Faith (according to is defined as: confidence or trust in a person or thing, belief that is not based on proof.

Tim and I have taken a huge "leap of faith". We believe that God has given us Veritas Church and that we are to lead it and follow Him in that endeavor. This is not something we have taken lightly! We are currently only getting paid to work at Veritas for the next 6 months at the most. But we believe that this is what God is asking us to do. We believe that we are to have "faith" that God will lead us and provide for His church and that we are to make an impact for Him here in Bay View and beyond.

One thing that I struggle with is that idea of balance. How do I balance faith and doing? I want this church to succeed because God draws people to Himself and changes people's lives. But how much am I to DO about that, and how much is TRUSTING God to do His part?

I am so tempted to do, do, do. I don't want to get ahead of God in this. I don't want this to succeed and have us look back and point out all WE did to make it happen. I want God to do this and get all the credit.

But it's always tricky for me to balance listening and trusting with doing.

And I wrestle with that definition of faith that says "belief that is not based on proof". I can see in my life, in the lives around me, and in countless stories in the Bible proof that God can and should be trusted. I see Noah have faith that He was following God and doing what he should do when it made NO sense at all for him to build a GINORMOUS boat nowhere near water with no tools and only his sons to help. I see Mary have faith and trust that she is going to birth the Son of God and raise the Savior of humankind in a time when she could be stoned for being pregnant before being married. I see Moses go and talk to Pharaoh over and over and over to let the Israelites go and believing that God was going to release them no matter how many times he heard no.

But I also know some amazing people, with the best hearts and desires and abilities to follow God, start a new church....and they closed. Those churches are no more. They had faith. They followed and trusted.

But I believe that we need to do this. I believe God is calling us to do this. I don't know how it will end up. I have many dreams and desires of where we will be in a year, 2 years, 10 years. I don't know all (or most) of the steps that need to be taken. But I have hope. I have "confidence or trust in a person or thing". I just don't want to get caught up in the law and in doing. I want to be balanced.

Balance is a hard lesson for me to learn!

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