Whatifland is a place I have been visiting lately.
Whatifland is a dangerous place.
There are two entrances to Whatifland.
One leads to a land that is home to flying unicorns, soft bunnies, rainbows, waterfalls and smells like lilacs.
The other leads to a land that is scary, dark, full of monsters in the shadows who jump out to grab you and hold you down, and smells like skunk.
But both are dangerous really, at least for me anyway.
If I spend time in the first Whatifland I enjoy dreaming about what could be. It can be fun to dream. What if I had a million dollars? If I could vacation anywhere, where would it be? What do I hope for Caleb? What will our 50th wedding anniversary be like? Those kinds of things. Fun things to dream about.
But then if I stay there too long, then the sadness sets in. "I'll never actually have any money to do those things. I'll never actually be able to go on that vacation." etc. So, even the lilac smelling Whatifland turns sour.
Then there is the other Whatifland. This is the one I have caught myself spending some time in lately. I start just kinda peeking into this Whatifland. Thinking, "I'm still safe. I can take just a few steps inside, nothing bad will happen. I can simply turn and walk out." However, remember those monsters I was telling you about? They grab me, then drag me in further and further and hold me there. I start going down that path. What if the church doesn't grow? What if it doesn't grow fast enough? What if we lose our house? What if I get sick? What if Tim gets sick? What if something happens to Caleb? What if... It happens so quickly. Almost without trying!
Whatifland is dangerous, at least for me.
I long to be more at peace resting in God and trusting Him. I long to not enter Whatifland.
I don't want to be stupid and blindly going through life saying "I trust God. Everything will be just fine." I don't think God makes EVERYTHING just FINE. He doesn't promise us happiness. He promises us peace and joy and hope.
The closer I get to God and surrender myself to Him and walk with Him, the less time I will spend in Whatifland.