Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Lessons from the Lake

Tim, Caleb and I just got to spend a whole week away! My family has house that we can all use on a lake near the Wisconsin Dells. It is wonderful! The nature all around is breathtaking: trees I see keep growing more and more each time I'm there, the lake, the deer walking around in the backyard picking apples off the tree and eating them (yes, I SAW that this week!), the birds, the stars, the sounds of's just beautiful!

And there is no internet or cell phone signal! I thought this was going to be a big issue for me, but it wasn't. It was actually a little refreshing.

While I was up there I read Lynne Hybels' book "Nice Girls Don't Change the World". It is a great book - only takes about 30-45 minutes to read the whole thing! I had read it a few years ago when I bought it and underlined a lot of stuff. It was neat to read it again these 3 or 4 years later and see what things I would still underline and what things I can see that I've grown in.

I asked Tim to read it to help him understand me a little more. (Yes, even after 10 years of marriage he still doesn't understand everything about me, or I about him!) So much of that book I would say if I had the words - she put words to my feelings and experiences. Discussing this book together actually led us to argue! Can you believe that???

I might digest different parts of this book on this blog over time. If I did it all in one entry no one would read it because it would be too long!

One thing we "discussed" was my hectic lifestyle and how much I do and have to do and how this is unhealthy. I agree, but the solution is so difficult to come by.

So, at one point, Tim lovingly (sarcasm there, did you hear it??) said "I don't care if you take the boat out for 3 hours alone tomorrow. You have to do something to REST!" {My grandpa has a pontoon boat up at the lake house}

So, I took him up on that! (I kinda think he didn't expect me to actually do it!) I took the boat out ALL BY MYSELF for at least 3 HOURS! It was AMAZING! I didn't even look at the time. I took some books, my Bible, my journal, a lunch (I enjoyed my lunch out on the lake!) and my pedicure tools!!

I was actually nervous to go before I left. I was scared. What do I do with my time? How can I stand that much quiet and alone-ness? What if I don't hear from God? What if I DO hear from God? What if He "yells" at me? What if I don't like what He says? What if I don't hear ANYTHING?

But I'm tired of letting fear run my life (I actually journaled about that!), so I went. I didn't know what would happen, but I forced myself to go and experience - not know what I would experience, but just do it!

I drove out to a spot on the lake and then turned off the motor and drifted. Then, when I got to close to something, or too hot, I'd drive around a bit more, and drift some more. I ate my lunch, did a mini-pedi, and didn't pressure myself or God for what would happen. I couldn't pressure myself to do or experience something! I had to just let go and let happen what would happen. It was hard at first, but then I really got into it.

I put too much pressure on myself and my relationship with God. That isn't healthy. I need to stop that. This was a step. I hope to keep taking steps. I need to grow and change one step at a time....NOT by leaping.

Just take the first step.

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